haix..im fed up fed up ar..!!!!!!!!!!! is it reali my fault? she tink i wan 2 lie 2 them meh? ok..she got e right not dun trust mi..wat im angry is her tone of voice n e words comin out of e mouth.!! she suspect go ahead..cos i noe im in e wrong..but so? they r e 1 forcing mi 2 lie.. i tried 2 tell e truth..everytime i wan 2 go out wif him..i tell them..no change tt..is ask them..but wat she say? "no..dun go la..we already tell u...." haix..den i can onli resort to lyin 2 get wat i wan rite? all my frdx can go out wif their frdx/stead till late late lo..im not even askin for tt..im onli askin to let mi go out fr like 10+/11 till 6pm nia..tt's all i ask..watch 1 movie already take up most of e time le.. haix..n its not like i always go out lo..plx..compare to most of my frdx..i tink im already quite good gal le..not 2 boast..i lie..i hate tt..do they noe how upset m i when i have to do tt?! they tink i like?! i hate it..i hate liers lo..i hate them yet im 1 of them... do they noe how much pain is tt.? do they noe as i type all dis im hurtin inside? im cryin inside? no..all she tink is im happy doin it.. im happy lyin 2 them..im happy defyin them..im happy upsetting them n myself..

papa..u said u r suppose 2 b my frd..but frdx support each other decisions..respect each other decision..respect each other.. i respect u all for not acceptng him..juz because i dun listen 2 u all does not mean i dun respect ba..i tink respect got a lot of ways de.. i dun ask him come as often as last time le..i juz wan 2 hang out wif him juz a while oso cant ma? i tot u r my frd.. u will stand wif mi.. but no..im fightin dis battle alone... ALONE..!! u side ur wife i dun mind cos she is ur wife.. im not angry.. but hu will understand mi? my pain? my hurt? u all tink when i upset i dun wan 2 run 2 u all meh? mi n wei yi same lo..we dun wan 2 go 2 u all cos u all will onli hurt us more...haix.. yes frd suppose 2 help u walk e right path..but not by forcin ba..rite?

when i tell e truth..u all dun let mi go.. i lie.. u all suspect mi.. i hate tt tone in ur voice.. i hate it when papa come n ask mi n in sort of deflated manner like he wan 2 give up n juz let mi go out..i hate it when i have 2 lie 2 get wat i wan..i hate it when i have 2 worry so much..! i hate it when i im cryin n onli wei yi noe... i hate my life..!!!!

STOP COMPARIN MI WIF OTHER PPL LA....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im stupid..ok? happy? den juz let mi go...stop carin abt mi..i'll learn my life..i'll live my life.. if 1 day i regret its my life.. y shld u care abt some1 u tink hu u tink dun care abt u..

i dun eva wan 2 b a parent.. cos im scared i'll end up hurtin them cos i dun noe wat 2 do in dis type of prob oso..but i guess i'll juz like my child b ba..i did wat i can by telling them le wat else can i do? i dun wan my child 2 end up hatin mi...i noe its not ez being a parent..but its not ez being a child oso..esp if both do not c eye 2 eye..